Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Blogging For The Fun Of It

Nothing new on the cancer front, really. I'm tired all the time. There seems to be something going on with my legs, because they hurt worse than any other part of my body. Going up and down the stairs is oh-so-very painful. The legs and all other body pain I can handle ok now that I got my rear-end fine tuned. The tiredness doesn't bother me as much as it used to either and I finally figured out why: I like sleeping. Sleeping makes time go by quickly and I want time to fly. I want this to be over. I love doing anything that causes me to lose track of time. Anything that doesn't cause me to think about how uncomfortable I am.

My days are pretty quiet now. I've sorta withdrawn from the family the last few weeks or so. At first I thought it was depression, but now I know it's not; it's purely me unable to concentrate on anything. I have a tough time focusing on conversations or television shows. One of the few things I can do is read. I seem to have no trouble losing myself in a book. So, that is how I spend my time - reading and sleeping. Blogging is tough because my fingers ache. They're stiff and sore, so typing can be a bit rough. I'm used to sitting down at my laptop, saying a prayer about what I'm going to write, then quickly typing my thoughts out. When I type slow like this I lose focus a lot.

The topic of this blog is really vampires. I didn't realize I loved vampires so much until I read the Twilight books. Why did I read the Twilight books, you ask? I know, not my normal style of book to read! Blame Allison and my cuz Princess V. Allison had been BEGGING to see the movie Twilight (alllllll the kids in the whole world have seen it except her.) I didn't know anything about the movie (yep, I'm that lame) I only knew it was rated PG-13 and she is 9. I've seen some rough PG-13 movies and I like to preview them before unleashing them on my children. I had no way of seeing the movie, but my wonderful cousin had the book set! And she let me borrow them! Because she loves me! And I can't blame her!

The Twilight books are about a (SPOILER ALERT! STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO RUIN THE BOOKS FOR YOU! yeah, whatever, I know everyone knows this already, but I always wanted to type SPOILER ALERT! it makes me feel important. you know, like I know things you don't) vampire! But he's a good vampire. I'm going to stop here for a moment...I know there are a few out there reading this that are shocked that I read these books. I'm not going to defend my Christianity. I'm not. I'm good with God. They're just books. Regardless, I'm not letting my daughter read them. She's too young. Soooo...I thought I'd check out the movie. I mean, geez, if every kid in the world has seen this movie but her, how bad could it be?

I wasn't thrilled with the ending of the movie. I feared it would give her nightmares, but her friends had already told her everything about said scary ending. Ok, she could watch the movie with me. We settle down to watch our movie - just the two of us and halfway through Tom starts watching it, too. He kept looking over at me and mouthing the words "this is stupid". I would give him the most mature reply I could think of by mouthing back "you are". I blame my steroids for the hostility.

So, the movie is over and all is well -I thought! All was well with Allison anyway. She didn't seem to be scared. Said she LOVED the movie. Now when Allison said she loved the movie, this made Tom unhappy. The movie is about (SPOILER ALERT!) a vampire who falls in love with a young girl who isn't a vampire and he does his darn best not to kill her. That's romance, folks. Tom was upset that his daughter now has the impression that it's ok to date a killer vampire... even if they PROMISE they won't kill you. He said it's too dangerous.

Allll righty. I'm the one that allowed her to watch the movie, so that means I'm the one who has to put the rule in place that Allison is never allowed to date vampires. I get so tired of always being the bad guy.


  1. We're BFFs for sure.
    I read the books so fast I forgot everything. Now I've got three daughters who melt with glee over all things Twilight. (Yes; THREE, even the married 25YO.)
    I love vampires and want to read Lestat (sp?) after Harry Potter, which I'm reading just to get the fundie offa me.
    I [heart] you and I'm glad we met.

  2. I struggle with focus and concentration too ... and I pull away from friends and family.

    Do what you need to to get through it.

    All the best to you ...

  3. Twilight and its follow-ups are the first books my teenager has read for pleasure (she has a learning disorder that impacts her concentration). I am grateful for anything that gets her to read.
    When I was doing chemo, I wanted to be put into a coma-wake me up when it's over. I am happy it's over and I'll be even happier when the side effects finally go away.
    I am hoping that you've gone through the worst, which I believe you did. What an ordeal in the hospital!
    Hang in there!

  4. Sleep when you need to. I remember on my worst day about three days after chemo I just lived in bed. I have great memories of cuddling with my kids in bed in the evenings. I think they loved this too. It's's just for a time.

  5. I mentioned YOU (in a roundabout way) in today's post.

  6. Loved the movie haven't read the books yet. Love you! Rest and feel better. Talk to your Dr about the pain, you shouldn't have to stay in pain.

  7. Just a note to remind you that your efforts at blogging are appreciated, especially because you work through your discomfort and fatigue to produce it. I have added you to my Cancer Blogs Links Page. Take care, Dennisw