Quick Update

I've not been feeling well - lots of headaches and very tired. Tomorrow I'm going to get back in the blogging swing of things!

Blogging Naked

This blog title was suggested by a wonderful woman/friend from my church. It's not as it sounds! I mean I am blogging and I am naked...wait - I guess it is as it sounds. But not for reasons you might think! Though who am I to know what you are thinking? For all I know you're thinking that I'm sitting butt-stark-naked in a bath of ice cold water while blogging because I can't get my hot flashes under control. Good call you! But you're only half right.

I started blogging naked long before menopause hit me. Naked blogging started when my muscles started hurting so badly after chemo that all I wanted to do was sit in a tub of hot water and soak all day. And so that is exactly what I started doing. I would read while I soaked. Sometimes (and never on purpose) I would sleep while I soaked. I finally figured out one day that I can make this a productive operation. The picture you see here is the set up I've done. Not too shabby, eh? (Pointing finger to top on my head...more than a hat rack my friends)

The menoblogsoak (TM Sheri) is still a work in progress. When a hot flash hits, I hightail it to the bathroom and fill my giant soaker tub full of cool water while I quickly move over my laptop, cell phone, house phone, ice cold drink, snacks and music. Spike, of course, supervises the entire operation by barking the whole time...I'm not sure what that's all about, but the system seems to work for us. After I'm completely set up in the tub, and Spike is locked out of the bathroom area - I get to work. Important items done first - figure out what bath salts to use (check!) Make sure entire body is wet by twirling in tub like a mermaid (check!) Wonder if I locked the bathroom doors so no one can see me twirling in tub (dang!) Stop twirling (check!) Daydream (check!) Think about what to blog (check!) Wonder how it's even humanly possible to sweat while sitting in a tub of cold bath water, but yet I am! (check!) Check facebook (check!) Check emails (check!) Check odd looking mole on knee and remember to ask doctor about it next time (check!)

Finally down to business. Or not. I'm tired of being in the bathtub now. I want to go to bed. Tomorrow - blogging in my jammies (aka blogging.)

Burnin' Love

Burnin' love is a sarcastic title. I've started having hot flashes. Hot flashes are no fun. Not only are hot flashes no fun for me, but they are going to be even less fun because of the trail of mayhem and misery I've left behind because of them. I'm not joking. Repeat. I'm. Not. Joking.

Oh, I hear what you're asking me now! I hear the questions such as: Oh, most precious and beautiful Sheri (you will call me precious and beautiful Sheri from here on out - jeepers it's hot in here - someone open a flippin' window! AAAAAAARRRRRGGG! I ask for so little.) I lost my train of thought. Oh! Right! You were asking me questions about how it could be possible that a very young woman who is only still in her 30's could be having hot flashes. Surely I can't be going into menopause, you ask.

You.

Would.

Be.

Wrong.

Freakin', stupid, chemotherapy has shut down my one last little remaining ovary and has thrown me into menopause. Thankfully I'm extremely moody to go along with having these wicked hot flashes. Example:

Tom: I'm leaving out of here, you want me to leave the ceiling fan on for you?

Me: (thinking to self: are you the only one in the world who gets to enjoy the breeze of a ceiling fan?) (says through clinched teeth): I'm having a hot flash...leave it on.

Tom: What's the difference between being hot and having a hot flash?

Me: (thinking to myself: usually I don't want to find a blunt object and beat you upside the head with it when you ask me questions when I'm just hot) (says through clinched teeth): one minute I'm fine and the next I'm sweating bullets so much so that my clothes are dripping wet.

Tom: Yeah, I guess that would be blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (thinking to myself: where is the closest blunt object)

Tom: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (thinking to myself: I think the last time my underwear felt this wet was the last time I rode the log ride at Six Flags Over Texas.)

Tom: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (looking around at items on table and wondering if hand lotion could be considered a blunt object)

Tom: Sorry you're feeling so poorly.

Me: (thinking to self: that was sweet of him to say...awww) Get! Out! (Geez, did I say that out loud or in my head??? Who cares!?!? How can one person sweat this much??????)