Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Decided

As of Friday I will start chemotherapy. I will be in the drug trial. Along with that I am going to take the three powerful chemo meds all at once. (TAC for my breast cancer friends and anyone else who knows anything about chemo drugs.) I'm doing what is going to be brutal on my body, but what I believe is best for me. I don't want this. I still want to wake up from this nightmare! But since I can't, I know this is a nightmare I only want to live through once. A lot of people do not support the decision I've made and I am sorry. I wish we could have all been on the same page, but in the end it is me that has to freak out with every new pain that might suddenly appear. It's me that has to live my life knowing that if this does come back, which given the type of cancer I have is extremely possible, I did everything in my power to kill it the first time. I don't want to look back for one second and wonder if I made the right choice. I'll punish my body now for peace of mind later.

I do this because I love you all.

Sheri

6 comments:

  1. Sheri,
    you said it best... "It's me". You are the one that has to make the decision, you are the one that is sick.. in time they will all realize that you are doing what you think is right... I wish you the very best.. I pray that you find the strength to endure whatever comes your way.. I hope you find peace...
    Kelly~

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  2. Do what is best for you. We all love you. Even those of us who have never met you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Sheri I think you are doing the perfect thing, what YOU have to. I get the fear. I had my ovaries removed because of my mom and because I'd had melanoma. Drastic? Yep, but it's what I needed to do. I am a strong believer of trusting yourself. I am sending you prayers for Friday and every day.

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  4. Who cares what anybody else thinks? You're the one going through this (and, of course, your family). Crud, do exactly what you believe is best. Personally, if it were me, I feel confident that I would also take a very aggressive approach and would have made the exact same choice. So obviously it's the right one. :^))

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  5. Super duper big hugs to you, Sheri!

    Yes, you do need to do what is best for YOU! And from your reading, you've discovered that with Triple Negataive BC, we have to hit it hard the first time . . . and have faith that it will not return.

    Please know that I will be with you in spirit on Friday.

    ~Renee
    Your TNBC sista

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  6. I appreciate the "in spirit" thing, and all, Renee, but if you'd rather just completely swap places, I'd totally be cool with that. I'm a giver!

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