As of Friday I will start chemotherapy. I will be in the drug trial. Along with that I am going to take the three powerful chemo meds all at once. (TAC for my breast cancer friends and anyone else who knows anything about chemo drugs.) I'm doing what is going to be brutal on my body, but what I believe is best for me. I don't want this. I still want to wake up from this nightmare! But since I can't, I know this is a nightmare I only want to live through once. A lot of people do not support the decision I've made and I am sorry. I wish we could have all been on the same page, but in the end it is me that has to freak out with every new pain that might suddenly appear. It's me that has to live my life knowing that if this does come back, which given the type of cancer I have is extremely possible, I did everything in my power to kill it the first time. I don't want to look back for one second and wonder if I made the right choice. I'll punish my body now for peace of mind later.
I do this because I love you all.