Monday, May 18, 2009

Burnin' Love


Burnin' love is a sarcastic title. I've started having hot flashes. Hot flashes are no fun. Not only are hot flashes no fun for me, but they are going to be even less fun because of the trail of mayhem and misery I've left behind because of them. I'm not joking. Repeat. I'm. Not. Joking.

Oh, I hear what you're asking me now! I hear the questions such as: Oh, most precious and beautiful Sheri (you will call me precious and beautiful Sheri from here on out - jeepers it's hot in here - someone open a flippin' window! AAAAAAARRRRRGGG! I ask for so little.) I lost my train of thought. Oh! Right! You were asking me questions about how it could be possible that a very young woman who is only still in her 30's could be having hot flashes. Surely I can't be going into menopause, you ask.

You.

Would.

Be.

Wrong.

Freakin', stupid, chemotherapy has shut down my one last little remaining ovary and has thrown me into menopause. Thankfully I'm extremely moody to go along with having these wicked hot flashes. Example:


Tom: I'm leaving out of here, you want me to leave the ceiling fan on for you?

Me: (thinking to self: are you the only one in the world who gets to enjoy the breeze of a ceiling fan?) (says through clinched teeth): I'm having a hot flash...leave it on.

Tom: What's the difference between being hot and having a hot flash?

Me: (thinking to myself: usually I don't want to find a blunt object and beat you upside the head with it when you ask me questions when I'm just hot) (says through clinched teeth): one minute I'm fine and the next I'm sweating bullets so much so that my clothes are dripping wet.

Tom: Yeah, I guess that would be blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (thinking to myself: where is the closest blunt object)

Tom: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (thinking to myself: I think the last time my underwear felt this wet was the last time I rode the log ride at Six Flags Over Texas.)

Tom: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: (looking around at items on table and wondering if hand lotion could be considered a blunt object)

Tom: Sorry you're feeling so poorly.

Me: (thinking to self: that was sweet of him to say...awww) Get! Out! (Geez, did I say that out loud or in my head??? Who cares!?!? How can one person sweat this much??????)

26 comments:

  1. You'd better keep the blunt objects tucked away for a while! Stoppin' by from SITS to say "hi" and welcome! I know that you will enjoy being a part of this vibrant group of bloggers.
    carma :-)

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  2. I think Tom should write a blog on his perspective, lol. I would love to hear the other side according to him.

    Being in the menopausal phase, I can so relate. No one can understand unless they are actually going thru it, unless he would like to completely wrap himself in plastic wrap and three heavy wool coats, lol. I actually went thru earlier (in my 30s) due to female issues.

    Best wishes you will ride past this phase, ohmygosh NOT fun!

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  3. You are such a darling for having such a great sense of humor about all of this! Men just don't get it sometimes, do they? LOL!
    I am stopping by from SITS and I wanted to welcome you to the SITStahood!

    Love,
    Taryn

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  4. Your sense of humor is awesome! But yeah, I agree with Carma, keep the blunt objects tucked away!

    Welcome to SITS!

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  5. Oh sweetie, you are going into menopause. But think of it as the later half of the word...pause. This is just for a while. Still no fun but there is hope in there.

    If it lasts for a long while ask them to put you on gabapentin. I made it through the chemo stuff but after my hysterectomy ( I was 33) my hot flashes came back with a vengence. So my oncologist put me on this and boy howdy does it work!


    I do hope things get better sweetie. Lots of love.

    Christina

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  6. Yeah, Christina, they tried to warn me this could happen. At first I didn't realize what was going on! Air conditioner on then off. Ceiling fan on then off. Windows open and closed. Bleh! Then one day it hit me! Hot flashes! Duh! It's terrible, but I tell myself there are worse things...like living with cancer.

    Thank you to all my new SITSahood peeps friends. Y'all rock! Not all my posts are this grouchy (almost not all...ok a few aren't...ok I'm sure there's been one or two.)

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  7. Oh most precious and beautiful Sheri... First I'll despense with my duties as an official Welcomista from SITS and welcome ya to the "Partay". Secondly, can I just kiss butt and say you can actually pull off that whole "bald is beautiful" thing and that's sayin' something for a chick! And third, as I pause to go get some assitance from Serenity (and no not in the zen sense in the I've had four kids and now have no kegels litteral translation), can I just say you've got a GIFT.. I'm actually holding back peeing on myself with laughter over the hot flashes suffered from chemo by a breast cancer patient.. and THAT my dear is a gift!!! I'm now going to stalk.. I mean follow your blog and I'll be sending all my minions.. um followers.. over to visit... YOU CRACK ME UP! Fight on my SITSta!!!!

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  8. That's awful! My mom had a similar experience early in her 30s.

    Good luck! I hope you have a great ceiling fan and lots of ice cream.

    Welcome to SITS!

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  9. Lemon slushes from Sonic and ice cream seem to be helping somewhat. And I know this because there is no one dead in my house. At the moment. That you know about. I feel pretty today. I think it's my hair. (Truly I've lost my mind.)
    DiPaola: stalk away my new SITSa - for I will be stalking you, too.

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  10. Oh the joy of hot flashes....my radiation from thyroid cancer...totally gave me hot flashes...and heart palpitations...I hope it gets better...before you run out of blunt objects....wink wink....

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  11. Welcoming you to SITS....my only experience with this is when my mom went through it in her early 30s (my age now) after a hysterectomy....I dont "know" you but you sound like a kick ass figher that is for sure

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  12. Kick the crap out of it girl! No mercy!

    And welcome to SITS.

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  13. Precious, beautiful, sweaty and DANGEROUS Sheri...I've missed you.
    Darling threatened to steal you away. Partly it was due to your preciousness and beauty, but in large part is was your awesome spirit and terrific humor that she lurved.
    I never flinched at her threat. She's young, physically flawless and eternally optimistic. (Only a mother could love her.)
    Stick with me and we grumble together.
    Where the H is my blunt object? "Oh, Rob...?"

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  14. My precious and beautiful niece, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and Grandma wonders how your taster is doing these days.

    Uncle G.

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  15. :) You poor girl. I love how you are honest about your frustrations! It shows your spunk. I'm sure your hubby would survive a few blunt objects if you feel the need to fling them. :)

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  16. Your blog is awesome! I love your attitude!
    Hope you're feeling better from your latest round...

    I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're glad to have you with us!

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  17. I don't know. Forget about tucking away the blunt objects, Tom (and others like him) should keep their blah blah blahs to a minimum. ;)

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  18. Here from Chicken Nuggets blog with a (Hug) and some cool air to chill your hot flashes.

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  19. We are in the same boat!!! Chemo sucks! I have been going through men-o-pause for a couple years. Oh hot flash....some on get me water or get out of my way...I need relief.

    Oh my new SITSer I feel your pain. Come on over anytime to complain. (I'm hosting a super yummy giveaway too.)

    Wait does this mean I can be called "oh precious and beautiful Ann?"

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  20. Ah Sheri, it's not fun but ya know what? Having a period during chemo is far worse. But I agree, it all sucks.

    My wintertime hot flashes just about drove my family nuts. 30 degrees outside and I'm opening windows. Just stash a spare nightie on the nightstand for a quick change. I also used some beach towels on the bed sheets and pillows when it was really bad at night.

    I DO NOT miss my awful chemo hot flashes.

    One little nugget of hope: the flashes will lessen in severity as chemo progresses and they should stop a few months after you're done.

    Hang in there, doll. And keep laughing. It's the best medicine.

    -Sharon

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  21. From now on, carry a blunt object in your pocket. That way you are always prepared. LOL!

    Welcome to SITS! I hope that the symptoms subside before any bystanders get what they deserve. I mean hurt. Before they get hurt.

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  22. I know all about the "hot flashes" they are miserable. Mine are usually late at night. Hubby is like what can I do and I too want to just yell at him just leave me alone or leave or something. lol I hope you get to feeling better soon!

    Oh and the reason I stopped by - Welcome to SITS!!

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  23. If humor and optimism can kick cancer's ass, you're well on your way to total remission!

    Keep the faith, SISTA (and stay cool - tee hee - I can say that cause I'm in the hellish foxhole of menopause myself and so totally know what you're talking about)!

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  24. coming over from chicken nuggets- you are very funny!! I am inspired by your humorous approach to this terrible disease. Keep it up!!!

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  25. Visiting from Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom... she was right - I'm glad I stopped by.

    This post cracks me up. Of course, I don't have hot flashes (please don't look for a blunt object) but I'm sure I won't be laughing in a few years. You are more than welcome to make fun of me for sweating disgustingly on any ordinary day, though - I blame my husband, docs blame hormones. Either way, sweat is not sexy, is it?

    You are fabulous!

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  26. OMGosh!!! You so have a gift for writing. I'm here by way of Nicole from my fabulous boobies. So glad I found you. Your stories are just what I need to hear. A little bit of humor thrown in the mix. A good laugh always gets me through the day.

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