Saturday, April 4, 2009

Chemo Sucks

Seriously! Chemotherapy sucks. I'm now going through the dreaded days after a chemo treatment again. I've read stories of women who never skipped a beat while going through chemo and radiation. Never missed a day of work. Me? If I'm not whining while lying on the couch, I'm whining with my head in a toilet or trashcan, or I'm whining while my butt is on the toilet.

I don't mean to harp on this subject time and again, but this still seems unreal. How did I end up with breast cancer? I wish God would let me in on my purpose for having this horrid disease. Pity party! Table for 1, please!

Anyway, short post tonight. As you can imagine, I'm too sick and tired to make a post. Pray tomorrow will get better. Most of my day today has been spent asleep. If there is anyway I can continue with this routine, you can rest assured, I will.

Good night and here's praying for a better tomorrow.


  1. It really does suck, doesn't it? LOL

    You reminded me of a friend of mine, he loves that phrase when he gets aggrivated. It is truly a good phrase to sum up your situation, it sucks!

    Praying God will help ease the illness part of this challenge and get you thru it quick!

  2. Chemo does suck. There aren't too many people out there that go by unscathed by it but you seem to be hit very hard by it. Your onc really should help you with the nausea and other problems. Chemo seems like such a barbaric treatment-killing the good cells along with the bad. Someday people will look back on it and think -what a primitive treatment!
    We in Cancerland are always asking, why us? What did we do to deserve this?I know I've gone through this over and over. But for the ultimate in cruelty, I see babies in the infusion room and think-why them?!? Cancer is so cruel.
    But you've gone through the worst of it and things will be better-hang in there.
    And you look great bald!!

  3. Thanks, Lynne, times are rough right now, but I know God will see me through this.

    And thanks to you, Sue, I can feel you, too, fighting in my corner. My question isn't really "why me?". I do know that bad things happen and they can happen to anyone. I guess I'm searching for the message from God as to what I'm supposed to be learning from this.

  4. Cancer does suck. I've said it a time or two myself. I was hit really hard by the chemo. I know you've read my story at fight pink, and we've chatted about all the terrible affects it can cause, so you know I can relate. I was always sick, in the hospital many times and had my head in the tiolet most days. Having type 1 diabetes didn't help me either.

    I hated every chemo. But the one thing I found calmed my spirit was my faith and my children. I found strength in my faith for notjust myself but also for my children there. My boys are my everything and so I had to pull myslef up at some point.I had to be strong for them. I still do. Yes I let them see me cry and they knew I wasn't well. There were times they stood over me crying while I was throwing up.

    I hope in time they will find the right meds and get you well enough so you can make memoories with your children.

    I do not believe I was just struck over the head by cancer. I do believe however I have been given a part to play. We may never understand, but we can survive to tell the tale!

    As a child I was angry with God about my diabetes. I was only 8 and believe me back then life was barbaric as a child with the disease. But I worked through it. Then when I was told I had breast cancer I realized why I had been allowed to endure all that as a child. I saw the puzzle piece fit. If I had not been through all that before I would not have had the strength to endure this.

    I agree with Sue, push for other meds. They should be doing this already. I don't understand this at all, but I do know you need to keep pushing. The nausea may never be under complete control, but they can make it bareable.

    Hold to your faith sweetie. We're all in your corner!

  5. Sheri, it does suck.

    As for why me? The hateful part of me rears its ugly head now and again and asks why this couldn't happen to someone else instead of me. Was it some combination of goofy childhood illnesses that I had? Was it losing my baby in July 2005? Did I lose my baby then because the cancer had started? It's like the beat of a drum that I have to ignore. Instead, I try to let my drum say new things now.

    I check your blog out every day. And you know what? You didn't b&c (bitch and complain) the day before chemo - you just did it. Me - I tackled it like a linebacker, a very vocal one sassing and complaining.

    Drink your water and gatorade and eat, even if you don't feel like it. All of these things play a roll in your recovery. Replace lost nutrients with simple foods that you can stomach. I found that those foods that clean the palate like strawberries, Clementine oranges, pears, and grapes helped immensely when everything tasted awful. I use these on my Mom now and it works. She's got a very sensitive stomach. Apples are good too.

    You'll get through this and I swear, every one of us who follow you here are pulling for you 110 percent.


  6. I'm staying to watch you win.
    Do people always say things like, "You're amazing" when they get here?
    They probably say it daily.
    I love your attitude and I want to stick around while you gather your victory over the next 81 days.
    I do daycare for a 3 Y.O with A.L.L. Words like cancer, chemo, and port are part of his Little Boy vocabulary WAY TOO EARLY.

    The American Cancer Society has a terrific program called "Look Good Feel Better."

    It's all about cosmetics, and it's free. Don't you think your wig-shopping cousin V would be great fun at a makeup party?
    I went to one of the meetings and it was a blast. FREE makeup, pah-leez.

  7. Ah, crap. I wish I could remember the name of the nausea stuff they gave me when I was going through treatment. They'd give it through IV while doing chemo, and then I'd get an oral script to take home. Didn't cure it, but took the edge off, which was better than nothing at all.

  8. Loked to see if you had an update today. I know just wanted to add this...

    Ask why, get mad, scream, yell and stomp, then take all that energy and use it to fight back at the beast sweetie. No one's battle is the same, we all fight differently, cope differently and we all take different paths. But we are still on the same journey.

    As for the why? Sometimes down the road we see the why, and sometimes we don't. The main thing is fight with all you have!

    We are all here for you, kinda like Mosses... when he became weak and could not raise his own arms in battle, his people held them up for him. We are all here for you sweetie!


  9. Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you.

  10. Thinking of you Sheri. Hope this round is going even slightly better than the last. You're in my prayers sweetie. Hang in there and let us know how you are when you surface from the chemo fog.