Monday, January 26, 2009

Another Day With Crappy News

Before I begin........


That took a lot of effort on my part to mention anyone else in MY blog. It dang well better be appreciated.

Anyone who has gotten to know me over the last week or so (or hasn't gotten to know be, but has had the misfortune to pass me on the street or dial my number by mistake or deliver my mail) knows how very unhappy I've become with my doctors. It seems people come out of the woodwork with stories on how their great aunt Edna used to hang for 12 hours upside down on a clothesline until her cancer disappeared. And they also love to tell you the name of the oncologist that their mother/father/brother/neighbor used to cure their cancer. I'm interested in the names of the doctors given to know, just in case my doctor.. oh, I dunno, gets killed by a pride of hungry lions while in Africa. That really could happen, you know. Honestly, it's probably a less than 10 percent chance that my doctor will get eaten by a lion while in Africa. She should be ok.

Anyway! A name that keeps getting mentioned time and time again is Dr. Lee, who happens to be right down the road from me. As far as I'm concerned, enough is enough with those other doctors and I'm going to see Dr. Lee, if for no other reason than to get a second opinion. It was a major production to get that office visit set up and have my files faxed over to him. In the midst of it all Allison reminds me that she needs her Abraham Lincoln costume finished up by Friday. The one I hadn't started sewing yet? Oh nooooooooooooooooooo!

Once again I'm on the verge of another melt down and it's Tom to the rescue. He's helping with homework, reading to the kids a book called "My Mom Has Cancer", cooking a chicken I planned to make for dinner but didnt, finishing the arrangements for my new doctor's appointment and ordering Allison an Abe Lincoln costume off the internet. He finally gets the costume ordered and informs me that a couple of calls beeped in while he was on the phone but he didn't click over. Those calls I had been waiting for all day. Every Monday the surgery and oncologist doctors (who aren't off frolicking in Africa) have a meeting and talk about newly diagnosed cancer patients. They decide what they believe is the best course of action for each new patient to take.

Since my doctors were both out of town (being eaten by lions, I'm sure), a wonderful woman named Vickie promised to attend then call me to tell me what they said about me. Vickie tried to call while Tom was on the phone. Tom did not click over. It was important to me to find out what they said. I was livid! How dare he not click over? I have cancer! I could fall over dead right now and he wouldn't care! He doesn't care at all about my plight! All Tom cared about was getting Allison that costume that I completely forgot to make because I've been totally wrapped up in my own self. It took Vickie almost 5 whole minutes to return my call after I left her a message. Let us all give Tom horrible looks the next time we see him. He's a bad man. Good grief. Have I always been this self absorbed?

Vickie told me the doctors studied my case and found it unusual (and thought I was the most beautiful woman in alllll the land...she didn't say that last part, it was just understood.) They had received another test result that we had been waiting on and it, of course, came back less than great. I'm starting to get numb to this crap now. What was interesting was the doctors thought I was a great candidate for one of the oncologists in their group's clinical studies. One of the doctor's is doing a study on unusual cases of triple negative breast cancer. I perked up! I wouldn't mind people studying me. Where do I sign up?

Vickie said she'll make some calls and see what she can do to get the ball rolling, and oh, by the way, the name of the doctor doing this study is Kelley Young. Sigh. Vic, baby, check my charts, you see the name listed there as my oncologist? PAUSEEEE. "Well, I show it's Dr. Kelley Young. How long has it been since you've seen her?" FRIDAY! This past freakin Friday!

It seems this clinical study that Dr Young is doing on unusual cases of triple negative breast cancer patients didn't need me; her own patient. Heaven only knows why she didn't want me. Maybe I was too pretty? Maybe she was jealous of the very cool tennis shoes I was wearing that day? Maybe she was grossed out because the whole time I was in her office crying I was using the sleeve of my t-shirt to wipe my nose? Who's to know? I do know one thing right now - if she were to beg me and pay me money and buy me a new car to just to join her clinical trial... I totally would.

1 comment:

  1. Thinking of you and praying that all will be well. i cant imagine what you are going through, other than the shared experiences from friends and family and trying to understand and help where I can... thinking of and will be praying for you from Ireland.. ken mcgrath